too, too much

Sometimes the only overwhelm I experience is that which is of my own making.
I have big ideas and dreams. I feel sadness and grief knowing that some dreams I had will never come true {I think it is fair to say I will never be a famous actress}. I feel anxiety about how short my life may be and the dreams that could come true that may never be realized. Renting an apartment in Paris for a month to write "the book". Speaking Italian fluently so I can carry on a conversation at more than a pre-school level of intelligence. Taking classes at Naropa. Creating an art installation and sharing it with the public {and having it be a success!}. Being an artist. A successful, paid artist, that is. Whether it is writing or Japanese ink or beautiful books, that is what I hope for. These are the big dreams that keep me up at night and get me up in the morning.

I can hear Mr. time ticking in my ear, reminding me that another day of doing exactly what I do will not take me closer to my dreams. It will keep me exactly where I am.
Sometimes, I think it would be good to just want what I have. And I do. I am grateful daily. I love my studio. The fireplace that illuminates my winters with warmth and warm. I am grateful for the food I get to eat, the places I get to travel, the experiences I get to have. The cherished friends, family and serendipitous aquaintances whom I love and who love me back. And yet, I know there is so much more. That is what overwhelms me. Knowing there is so much more. I am like a greedy kid who has all the toys in the world, and yet wants more. Not that I want more stuff. I just want more experiences. Time. Money. The means to create and live those experiences I dream about.

Joseph Campbell has often been my guide. And Rumi. And my teacher, John. They all remind me that the real dream is not what you get, but the person you become. I hope someday I can say that I have become the person I was meant to be. I imagine I will become some of what I had hoped for and, hopefully, more than I could have even imagined for myself.

Until then, I will continue to dream big, be a bit overwhelmed, and seek that which brings me closer to settling into life.



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Time for a rest

I am tired.
I have been traveling on a tradeshow circuit for several weeks now and just returning home. Last night was the first sleep in my own bed. It was also the first solid nights sleep I have had in weeks. I love to travel and especially love to stay at nice hotels. But, when I am working relentlessly, even pampered luxuries can't always take the edge of exhaustion away.
There is something about being in my own home that allows ease. It gives me permission to rest. I feel nurtured when I am surrounded by the things I love, especially my furry little child, Jack. I can relax. It is like a sanctuary. It is the comfort of home.

It is good to be home.....



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Words from the Muse

"You must search for happiness in your life. Don't get discouraged. Look ahead with hope."

Words from Maillol and Mastisse muse and model Dina Vierny, who passed today.
Such a simple string of words- the essential essence of our lives.

So easy to get distracted by our busy-ness, we can easily fall into automaton activity.
Only silence will tell us the truth. Are we happy? Not the giddy kind that is fickle and fleeting, but the contented joy that rides evenly upon any circumstance that comes our way.

Joseph Campbell, one of the never-met mentors who first moved me on the path many years ago and still to this day inspires me with words written on paper from lectures of long ago- Reflections on the Art of Living my bible for today, everyday.


Read the article written for NPR here.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

no big deal

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and renewed after an evening of discomfort and unrest. Last night, after having dinner with friends - something just didn't feel right. I was conflicted and restless. What was it? It was the unrest of knowing that my actions and speech were not aligned with my beliefs.
The big deal was not about what I did or said, it was that I fell back into some habitual patterns about how I act and speak. Patterns that no longer serve me well, but particularly, no longer serve others or my life well.

Today, I am deciding to "always maintain a joyful mind."
For me, that means listening and paying attention. It means being quiet or speaking up when it feels like the right thing to do.
Most of all, it means being in the present moment with complete awareness.
A conscious commitment, for sure. At least for me, as one who has not yet mastered it as part of my everyday life.

How can the day be anything but remarkable?



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Irritation

How easily I can become irritated with others!
Judgment. Frustration. Impatience.
At that moment, I can take either fork in the road.......letting go and letting be or hooking in and hanging on.

LIfe is so much more pleasant when I turn left.
Who knew?
Now I know.

copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Be nice.

It is easy to complain. It is easy to criticize and judge. It is easy to be condescending.

What if we could just be nice?
I am not talking about the pollyanna "she's so sweet" kind of attitude.
I am thinking about right speech, right action, right mind.

Once you begin to practice being nice, you realize it is a really nice way to live.



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Always maintain a joyful mind

When things or people or circumstances get tough, it is easy to fall into a mode of complaining or complacency. We look outside of ourselves to define who we are.

What if.....we could show up with a sense of curiosity, an openness about how the day might unfold, a spaciousness about how others might act or interact with us and, truly, maintain a joyful mind.

What is a joyful mind? It is a mindset to maintain equanimity in the midst of chaos and confusion. It is a determination to not get hooked into a place that can spiral us into negativity. It is a commitment to stay focused and calm, despite the thoughts that might tempt us to distraction.

It is, simply, to be grateful for the moment with a sense of pure joy and thanksgiving.



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Two Minute Toothbrush Meditation

My toothbrush is an excellent meditation tool. No, really.
I have an electric toothbrush that is timed for two minutes. When I started my meditation practice, I began to notice how often I quit brushing before the brush timer stopped. Two minutes. 120 seconds. Not much time, but it seemed like a long time of "doing nothing" when I had to hurry to get myself out of the house.

Now, I use it as part of my meditation practice. A practice of present moment presence. A chance to be quiet and pay full attention to what I am doing. A method of slowing me down.

It's only two minutes, but it sets the tone for the entire day.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Defining Moments

There are times in our life when the choices we make, the actions we take or the mindsets we create become a defining moment for us. They can set us back, move us forward, or keep us stuck.

When we bring awareness to our everyday, we can begin to see that each moment is a defining moment.
It will either reinforce habitual patterns or create a new way of being that we imagine for our Selves.
We can stay stuck in our resistance to change or we can move forward into the uncertainty with confidence and trust that, though we may not know where we are heading, it will be different and better than where we have been.

As you go about your day today, look for those moments that can change the way you are in the world, the way you life your life.
What can you do differently to create a defining moment that will propel you towards the life you only imagine for yourself, the life your Self was meant to live.

Make a new choice, take a new action, create a new mindset.
This is the jumping point where your life begins to change.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Become who you are meant to be

"It's never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be.
There's no time limit.
Start whenever you want.
You can change or stay the same.
There are no rules to this thing.
We can make the best or worst of it.
I hope you make the best of it.
I hope you see things that startle you.
I hope you feel things you never felt before.
I hope you meet people who have a different point of view.
I hope you live a life you're proud of, and, if you're not,
I hope you have the courage to start all over again."

- Eric Roth, from the screenplay of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
as published today in the NY Times.

copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

A day of Hope and Change

To change the nature,
condition
or function of.
A hopeful sign
of some enlightenment
to come.
Life
will never be the same
after this.

Transformation.








copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Taking Time for Tea

Yesterday, while I was working at a tradeshow and in the midst of my busyness of setting up our booth, I ran into a friend. We chatted and she led me back to her booth to show me a new product she was introducing.
I loved the new product. But, what I loved more, was watching her husband make tea.
In the midst of the busyness, they were taking time for tea.
Time out to reconnect with something grounding, something they love, a lovely ritual to connect them back to themselves, to each other.

It may not be tea for you, but what can you do today that brings soulful awareness to you day?
Find something you love and make it a ritual to take a moment from the daily distractions and reconnect back to yourself, your Self. By taking time for tea, or whatever it may be, we honor our selves, we honor our world, we ritualize our life.

What could be more delicious than making a sacred moment out of our day?

Just for today, find a moment and "Take time for Tea".



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Setting an Intention

Today I am setting an intention for the day.
To show up, to look the people I meet in the eye.
To "be" with them- in presence and with purpose.
Connecting, listening, engaging, relaxing.
Being fully present in the moment, fully present with the person, the conversation
The intention. Embody the intention.

I trust the rest will unfold as it will, as God wills it.

Masallah.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Having Fun

I don't know about you, but I often take myself way too seriously.
I love to laugh and love to be around people who make me laugh. The kind that comes naturally, without thinking or self-consciousness. It is a kind of joy.

How can we bring more fun into our lives?
How can we give our Selves permission to have fun?

Once you start looking, really open your eyes, you will see it. It may first appear as small moments of joy.
Or big moments of laughter- and, if we are lucky, we will be able to laugh at our selves! It is liberating to be able to see our selves with humor. If we can lighten up on our selves, we can lighten up our lives.

"Cheer up!" as Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche says.

It will liberate your life.



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Loosing the grip

I need to relax. What I really mean is that I need to loosen my grip on things- people, ideas, outcomes.
It seems the harder I push, pull and struggle to be in control, the quicker I lose control of what I want. And that is exactly the point. I am not in control.

When we imagines ourselves letting go, it is like a total physical release- oxygen filling us up with a sense of hope and relief.
Why do we think we have to work so hard? We exhaust our energy and wear ourselves out trying to "get" what we want and accomplish what we think needs to be done- to get ahead, put us in front, deliver the things we desire. At the end of the day, it isn't about us {me} . We merely a vehicle. Once we let go and realize that, remember this, we begin to feel totally relaxed.

Our job is to merely show up fully present, in the present moment. By bringing our full awareness to what is in front of us, everything else, including our grasping, dissolves. We feel lighter. We feel engaged. We feel focused. We feel like what we focusing on becomes effortless.

Things will unfold as they may, as they will.
For today, I am going to let them.
I am going to loosen my grip and R E L A X.

I'll let you know how it goes......




copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Staying still

In the whirlwind of chaos, stay still
in the midst of excitement, stay still
in the overwhelm of anxiety, stay still

Sometimes, the best thing we can do is to do nothing.

Whatever comes our way might simply take care of itself, pass on, or fall away.

The next time you are in the midst, try something new. Try staying still.
See what happens. Become the non-doer who is merely watching.
There is no work to do. There is only a way to be.

Just be. Stay Still.

copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Discipline and Dedication

Discipline has gotten a bad rap. It is often associated with a negative connotation, a derogatory state of mind.
For some, it may conjure feelings of entrapment or a sentence of duty.

What if discipline were simply a means to show up. That's all. Just show up.
If that is our focus, the rest will unfold and unfurl as it may, as it will, as it should.

Dedication is not an obligation. It is a wholehearted commitment.
It is a chance to make something sacred, to honor what it is, as it is.

What if we showed up to life, everyday, and made a it sacred?
The magic of life we see before us unfolding would surely awe and astound us.

For today, just one day, let go of your agendas. Clear you calendar and let the day be a gift to you.
All you have to do is show up and honor the day.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Things unseen

My quest for beauty began the day I was born. I didn’t discover this until I found myself one day, many years later, lost and longing, desperate and empty. Little did I know at the time, it was my soul calling for me to come back home to myself. It was trying to get my attention that the life I was living was not the life I was meant to have.
This is when the hard part really began. Dips and detours. Trenches and potholes. I was great at digging out of holes. When would I learn to live life by walking around them instead of falling into them? Just by seeing that, I began to see how I could live my life differently from that point on. Awareness. Observation. Consciousness.
Many thousand steps later, I am still on the quest, each and every day.

Beauty is the essence of everything I long for, live for, aspire to be, do , see and feel in my life. When beauty is the foundation of our lives, everything else falls into place.

Sitting in silence
Hearing the breeze echo through the cracks in the old, worn house in which I live
Sleeping sweet furry child lies on the floor next to me in his calm silence, breathing up and down, in and out , again and again and again

Often it is the most simple, yet indescribable things through which beauty resonates.

Take a walk. Nature will stun us into bewilderment if we raise our heads and look around. The surest cure for self-pity, depression or uncertainty. Answers fall from the tree branches as we walk by.

Sometimes the beauty we see and hear is like our own private morse code . Only we know its meaning, having experienced it through the windows of our own soul. Expression. Emotion. So personal, so intangible, so inexplicable. Sometimes I ache trying to understand it. Sometimes, I am so overwhelmed by its omnipotence, feeling a sense of timelessness and left in utter awe.

If beauty is God, I am lucky to have been in the presence of something divine.
May bewilderment always be my muse.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Are you a Buddha or a buffalo?

How often do you find yourself in pedantic conversation, repetitive motion, mindless routine? You are engaged in activity, but barely aware of what you are doing.

We are a culture of doing. We have learned how to do many things at one time. We know how to get things done. Activity in action. But our awareness is sleeping. We are mindlessly going about our day. Year. Life.

And then there are those who “mind the gap.” They know that in the silence, in the empty spaces, is where enlightenment lies. It is not boredom. It is an aloneness that is not lonely. It is the person that dares to watch and not participate. The art of non-doing. Like a scene from a movie, we become the ones who look. But even that is not right. Watching connotes action. What I am talking about is seeing. When you are seeing, there is a stillness. It is a sense of being. Being without doing.

Buffalos are happy to graze all day long, content to munch for endless hours on grassy lands. They are busy doing something all day long. But they are not just bored, they are boring. They are not engaged. They are just doing.

Buddhas are beyond boredom. They are engaged, but do not engage themselves. They learn how to see the same as new. They are fearless and dare to do things differently. The unknown is not a shocking surprise. It is a delicious mystery of life waiting to unfurl and unfold. Sometimes it is ugly and sometimes beautiful, but in the end, authentic and real. Authenticity is alive. Even in its ugliness, there is beauty. Even sadness. Especially sadness. It is the emotion that connects the warrior to the world. Allow yourself to be daring enough to feel what is real. Be authentic. Be a Buddha.

You already are.

copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

everyday as an art form

Chogyam Trunga wrote a book many years ago called True Perception: the path of dharma art.

It is about living our lives everyday as an art form. It is how I want [and aspire daily} to live my life. Some days feel like a theatre piece playing out on the world's great stage. Other days are quiet and subtle, like enso drawings effortlessly painted onto the page with dense, black ink. And other days are chaos and disconnection, bearing only a resemblance of my neurosis that comes out like a Jackson Pollack painting on a bad day.

If we envisoned ourselves living an artful life, living our life as an art form, what would we create?

I would create beauty.
I would create simplicity. Wabi-sabi.
Taken from one of my favorite books of the same name.
I would think of restraint.
I would pick things that had meaning, being selective in what I put on the palatte.
I would certainly be more conscious of what I speak, how I act and what I wear.

no time like now to begin.

Read Chogyam Trunpa's original essay HERE.

copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

The way we live

Are you living the life you were meant to live?

Change the way you live! One small step at a time.
Do something different today.
Walk to work in the sunlight bathing the day.
Feel your feet caressing the pavement and the heat of the day cloaking your shoulders in comfort
Breathe in the perfume of roses and sing a song with the birds outside the window
Talk to others and smile brightly
Look into the eyes of another and let them see your soul

The petals open and then they drop
Tomorrow doesn’t have to be the same
Gather your shears and prune your garden, your life
The tightly closed buds will multiply and flourish
They will open into a beautiful flower with a perfume that will arrest your soul

Let your day be that what you make it,
Ecstatic embrace of the everyday

copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Beauty and love

The path of life is paved with rosewater perfume and crimson jewels.
And, it is littered with detours and derailments that seem to take us off course when we least expect it. Shattered. Bewildered. Lost.

How do we find our way? There is rarely a clearly marked path that says, “this is the way, my friend.” Or, at least a path or message that we notice or hear. If you hear a dissonant cord in the not too far distance, it is most likely well-meaning friends or family members, or bosses, or anyone, pointing their fingers, commanding us to make up our minds and get on the way. Don’t listen. To them.

Stop. Wait. Rest. Resting turns into sleep. We awaken from a dream.
Did we even know we were this tired? So tired.
Lay down here, my precious one. Sleep, dream, rest.
But don’t stay asleep for too long, there is a life to be lived and nectar to be drunk.

What are you waiting for?


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

work on your life

Work, work, work

What are we working for?
Things, money, accolades, accomplishments. To fill the empty time and space in our hearts.

What if we could work on our life? What if we focused our efforts on creating the life we love?
We are the composer of our song, the conductor of our lives. And yet, we forget that this is our music to make. We create the score that becomes the aria, opera, jazz riff or ballad. Pianissimo. Forte. Whatever our hearts desire. Today, tomorrow, forever.

And yes, it could and most likely will include "work" as we know it. How can it become work as we want it? A vehicle for us to express our passion, find meaning and purpose in our life, and allow us to learn the lessons life has in store for us. Inspiration, adversity, enlightenment. Creating and shaping us into the beings we have always meant to become. All of these things and more.

not a bad way to spend the day....
Turn up the volume and dance to the music you make.






copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

I am loving awareness

Last night, I had a call with Ram Dass. He offers personal calls to individuals that he calls "heart to heart." Yes, you get to talk to him one on one about whatever is tugging at your soul.
I have never met or spoken with Ram Dass before, but from the start of our conversation, it was as if we were talking like two friends who have known each other a lifetime. We have.

I am often so busy being an individual, playing my roles in the world: a business owner, a partner to my significant other, a friend, that I often forget to just "BE" and connect with others as who they truly are: souls.

"It is the Atman. The God within me is the the God within each of us, " Ram Dass whispered. "every time you feel disconnected, out of sorts, or in need of courage, just say to yourself, " I am loving awareness."

Whatever we "do" in the world is merely a vehicle to offer each other a way to connect in the world. We get a glimpse of their soul and it is reflected back. When we open our hearts, the world unfolds before us.

may you be the loving awareness you long for from others.




copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

setting goals

If you are one of the 5% of this world, you have probably already set your goals for the year.
Of the rest of you who don't or haven't yet, fear not.

Goals can be good, but they can also become the "shoulds" that bind us to our accomplishments rather than the things that bring us beauty, soul and joy in our lives.

Everyone has a different way of setting goals or creating ways to make dreams come true. You may not even realize that you are setting goals. Perhaps you are writing lists or creating intentions or making a vision board. These are all forms of setting goals. Some are right brain, some are left brain. All are intentions to create the life you want to live, the person you imagine your self to be and become.

I am a big believer that we wont do things {consistently} unless we have some kind of reward at the other end. I like to create and call my goals by another name- rituals. I start my day by doing a few rituals that set the intention for my day. This is where I begin. This is what creates balance. Keeps my center. Maintains my calm. This is the foundation for everything else that I want to do, be and become in my life. When I am on track with my daily rituals, I am usually more apt to create the other bigger, more meaning things that I want to create for my life.

Some daily rituals that work for me:

- 10 to 15 minute meditation
- morning pages a la Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way
- writing an entry in my blog

What can you create that brings more of what you love into your life?


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Balance

A simple word.

And yet, ever elusive.
I am surprised and alarmed by how many people want and need more balance in their life.
Including myself.
Like hamsters on the endless wheel of life, we forget to lift up our heads, slow down our feet and let our arms twirl about in reckless abandon and joy.

And yet, this is precisely what we need.

How do we create balance in our life?

We get out of our head and into our heart.

Create a personal menu of how you want to live your life.

For me, it is a commitment to start my day with rituals that bring sacred meaning to my everyday.
It is a commitment to write.
It is a commitment to allow quiet time away from work to integrate all that I do, think and am.
It is a commitment to move my feet.
It is a commitment to have my "Sacred Sunday" at home- reflecting, resting and rejuvenating my body, mind and spirit.

These are the things that work for me. They are my "guardrails". They keep me on the path. When I find that I am not making time or a concious effort to keep my commitments, I get off balance. They are my red flags, popping up to remind me that I need to do these things regularly, consistently to stay in balance.

What is it for you that helps bring you back into balance? Find commitments that are less about "getting something done" and more about stopping to be...exactly who you are. heart.

Take good care of yourself.



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Spaciousness

S P A C I O U S N E S S



One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves, and others.
It is a place of expansiveness. Of resting the mind so it can wander. Of resisting the impulsive reaction so our heart can catch up and be what we really want to be, say and do.
It is a place where the gap comes first, allowing the space in between to speak the true message of meaning.

It is a place where awareness and understanding lives.

The world is moving so quickly, sometimes we can't even imagine slowing down for a second. And yet, that is precisely what we need, what our soul longs for. That second. To catch the breath. Inhale and exhale naturally, wholeheartedly.




copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

Your Gift

We all have a gift.

It is our birthright. It is our soul's calling. It is what we were meant to do in this world.
I have been searching to understand what my gift is.
I am often flooded with ideas and inspirations, and yet I cannot seem to manifest these thoughts. Are they gifts? They feel as they are, then why can't I seem to bring them to life? Why do they linger as mere ideas in my mind, as quickly as they come, replaced by others. Or, lingering endlessly and relentlessly begging for attention. Waiting to be created into form.

Creative collaboration is what comes to mind. I begin to think of others who would be perfect to work on specific projects.
And then, I wonder if I will get lost, if the idea will no longer be my own, if we will get along, if it will turn out the way I envision.
And so, I do nothing.

Discovering the gift is about doing something. Anything. It does not have be perfect or even just right. It just has to be. Bring it, whatever you dream, into being. In whatever form. As Julia Cameron professes,

"You take care of the quantity. God will take care of the quality."

It is precisely by realizing what we can imagine, allowing helping hands and open hearts to guide us along the way, that I believe we discover our gift.

What is calling you?

Begin.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

New Beginnings

Happy New Year!

What does that declaration bring up for you?
Do you feel celebratory about new beginnings or dread about having to start all over and "do it all again."
Do you feel hopeful or helpless?
Are you inspired or tired?
Are you truly living the life you were meant to live?

The New Year is often about resolutions that will be made and promises that will be broken. Dreams that will be written and disappointments that may be looming.
It is about just being who you are. Seems too simple, right? I for one, find it sometimes difficult to live authentically and from my heart each and every day. I get sideswiped by circumstances and taken over by habitual patterns that no longer serve me well. I compare myself to others and think that I must be "falling behind" because I am not accomplishing success and goals fast enough, loud enough and enough enough. What happened to living for the sake of the soul?

This year, I am going to set out on a journey to discover The Secret to the Art of Living.

"What does that mean?" For me, it means to live the life that I {we/you} are meant to live.

As Joseph Campbell offers,

"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are."

It is a life of passion and purpose. It is living with an open heart. It is seeing synchronicity lay the path down for us to follow. It is being aware that we are already what we are meant to be. We just have to find our way home.


I hope you will join me on this journey.