happiness and success

I am sure we all have questioned our success at some point on the path of our lives. What is our TRUE definition of success? I am not a fan of happiness per se, but speak of joy and that is where I wish to be. Talk of celebration, and that is how I wish to live. Life as a dance. Work as a purpose. Success as fulfillment and contentment.

Here is an article by Dr. Janice Dorn

What’s the deal with happiness and success?

Why is it that we live in such an amazing world, filled with blessings and opportunities, yet so few are happy?

You owe it to yourself and those who love you to be happy. You want to be successful for yourself and those who support and adore you. How do you do this? Where do you start? What comes first—happiness or success?

Studies show that it’s not an either/or situation. Happiness and success are connected in interesting and often counterintuitive ways. Talking about how success leads to happiness ignores half of the story.

Janice wrote this article for traders and offered some interesting solutions. I created my own list for myself and others.
Here is my list:

1. Find a confidante you can trust. Being able to talk about your most sacred fears, joys, and concerns in your business is key to keeping things in perspective, realizing you are most likely not the only one who has ever experienced the challenges you face, and knowing that someone who lends an ear is also offering you their heart. Support is very much underrated and can be the backbone to whether we persevere on the path or decide to give up. This goes for business and personal.

2. Get a life. Most of us work so hard, we forget there is a whole other world that exists outside of our self-contained world. Lift your head up and do something different a few hours a week. Take a walk in the park, go see a movie, take an art class, do a yoga class. Find other interests outside of your work that will ease the stress, inspire creativity and offer an outlet.

3. Lend a hand.. Nothing makes us feel better than to give to others. In this fast=paced world, what we need is comradrie and compassion, not more competition and complaining. Be selfish and offer help to someone in need today, at work or out in the world.

4. Eat good food. Food not only nourishes us physically, but nurtures us psychically. We gotta eat everyday, why not make it a meaningful ritual that enhances our life everyday? don't forget to take time out to eat that good food. How we eat is just as important as what we eat.


5. Give yourself permission to play. I am not very good at creating "fun", but play is good for me. Julia Cameron calls them artist's dates in her book, The Artist's Way. Taking time out to do what you love, what resonates with you, what inspires you, what allows you to let go and laugh, kick back and relax, be silly and be the fool. Whatever that means for you.


Here is Janice's full and original article:
www.cnbc.com/id/29956063/


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

experiencing the existential crisis

I am having existential crisis {again!}

What is this crisis?
What am I doing with my life?
What am I supposed to be doing with my life?
What do I want to be doing with my life?

I feel time pawing at my heels, reminding me that a days work is not a life.
So much more to be experienced.


What do I want to do with this one and precious life? Think BIG, dream outloud, be outrageous. I give you permission to think outside the box . Forget about what others want for you. And, if you haven't yet decided, beware. At some point, someone is most likely going to decide for you. So, while you are still alive and able to make some good decisions, why not make your own list of lovely things you want to do with your life.
Whether you are twenty or four times twenty, it is never too late until you see the dirt on your face and the coffin closing its door.

Here is a partial list of my own:


- write for {at least} a month in Paris
- visit the temples of Japan
- shop the medina markets of morocco
- sit with a Buddhist master and learn ancient techniques that lead to enlightenment {I would need a whole lifetime for this, but a glimpse would be welcome too}.
- Speak fluent Italian {which most certainly would require me to live in Italy!}
- Take a two week vacation with my love on a secluded beach with clear, warm water
- Publish a personal art book
- Do a public art installation
- Sell my house and rent a charming cottage with a deep bathtub and a fireplace
- Live within my means
- Pay all of my financial obligations and debt down to zero, and have a security savings
- Get up in front of a group of at least 50 people and enjoy the experience. I might flip or I might flop, but until I do it, I will never know.
- Stand up in a group of women and share my entrepreneurial enlightenment. What has worked, where I have bombed, why I encourage them to follow their dreams and always listen to their heart.
- see the world through a child's eyes just for a day. Daily adoption. Now, there's a concept! For those of us who are not quite ready or time has fleeted to care for a child full-time, why not spend a day with a child who needs a home and offer them the love of someone who cares.
- clean out my closets and keep only a few things that I absolutely love. This might involve a complete purge and a trip to Donna Karan's Urban Zen {hey, I said dream big!}
- take a japanese ink brush class with Kaz Tanahashi {I have signed up twice and never made it}. This should be at the top of my list.
- learn to stand up straight, good posture makes me feel good.


What am I waiting for?



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

grace

I received a gift from someone who felt the unspoken words and energy.
It is so powerful to be named by others in such a soft and heartfelt way.
Grateful for the dance. Grateful for the grace.

May I always have the grace to dance my life as God would have wished for me.



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

the sky is crying

tears for all of us.
Joy, compassion, recognition of our shared humanity.
let it remind us that our emotions are to be shared, connecting us to the greater whole.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

love, love, love

Today is all about love.

We never know what others have on their plate. How often we make assumptions that are wrong, ill informed or completely off base.

Here is a perfect example:
One of our vendors was not responding to repeated emails we sent. We were frustrated and annoyed.
We made up stories about how she wasn't doing her job, like we expected.

This morning, we found out she had some serious family issues, causing her to not be able to respond to our emails. Her son has just been diagnosed with Luekemia.

We were crushed for her and her family. And saddened. Both by the situation and by the fact that life is not always what we imagine or perceive it to be. We would all do well to set aside our assumptions {especially negative} and offer a bit more love and compassion for others. We shared many tears this morning on behalf of her son and their family. Our hearts had been softened and humbled by this experience. It felt good to be in touch with our hearts again, so that we could offer the kind of compassion that family will need now.

We sometimes forget others unseen emotions and problems may be needing compassion when are own lives are doing well. It may be even more challenging to muster up sensitivity and compassion when times are tough, and we are stressed out and thinking of our own needs.

I hope I remember this experience as an important lesson.
Life is all about love. In the end, nothing else really does matter.



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

present moment, only moment

This one moment is all we got.
what we do with it NOW determines our tomorrow.
BE HERE NOW was no mistake.

Put away the fear and anxiety of what shall be and put that energy into what it is that we create right now.

Find something you love, do something that is inspiring and/or inspires others. Meaning, purpose, ritual, righteousness.
Whatever it is for you, let it be NOW.

Morning meditation. Afternoon silence. Evening Grace.

My meditation mantra-
Present moment, only moment.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

weathering the storm

These are difficult times. Everyday, there is uncertainty and imbalance in many of our lives. Many have had to make sacrifices and endure hardship. It can be exhausting to endure.
And yet, how can we come to the day with a sense of calm in the midst of this storm?

Being stressed out doesn't help us be more productive.
During times like these, I do well to remember a story about a monk who says to his colleague, "Today is going to be a very busy day. Instead of meditating for one hour, I must meditate for two."

Sitting in silence, doing nothing, would seem contrary to being productive and getting things done. In fact, it can provide the calm and clarity we need to come to the work at hand in a calm, confident, compassionate manner. When I am acting from this place of mindful decision-making, I take care of those I come in contact with. I make decisions that are well thought out, and I feel better, reducing the internal anxiety and stress. Slowing down seems like an unlikely ally when we have much to do. And it is exactly what we need to gain correct perspective and really see what is front of us clearly.

I have a lot on my plate right now. Home is not the "artful life" I long for. I spend less time cooking and eating artfully than I like. I try to savor every moment I do have at the table, knowing that it matters intensely to honor that ritual wholly. A good pot of soup is always a quick and easy remedy for this ailment. The pressures of the day to day business need to be met. It is sometimes difficult to step back and celebrate those things that are working well. And yet, we must.

Although I like the idea of positive affirmations, what I like better is slowing down to the speed of life. A calm, centered and compassionate life. It is something I work at and aspire to daily. I can just as easily slow down as i can speed up. It is all a matter of my environment for me. I do well when I take time to do the things that nurture me and help keep me centered. It may seem like an indulgent waste of time, but for me, it is exactly what I need to focus my effort- like an arrow targeting a bullseye. Deliberate. Sure. Calm.

Right now, I will focus on what is in front of me- solely, wholly, completely.
The rest will either take care of itself, fall away, or be waiting for me when I am ready.





copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

be the witness

I met a wonderful woman at the Heartbeat 5 Rhythms workshop last month.
She was tall and beautiful and elegant. She seemed so confident, as if she had done this movement mediation for years.
I had the priveledge of being with her for an exercise where we shared why we were at the workshop, what brought us there.
It was no surprise that we were partners, as we shared many things in common and mirrored each other's feelings of how we felt and what we wanted to become.

The next day, she recounted such a lovely story to me. While in town, visiting from NYC, she was staying with Family. We had a particularly emotional day at the workshop and all she wanted to do was write in her journal and process her experience in peace and quiet. And yet, life had another agenda for her. She was plopped down unexpectedly in the middle of a large family gathering. The celebration was wild and rowdy as her brother announced his engagement. See was seething as she tried to tolerate the experience while choking down the anger accumulated deep in her bones from many years past. She writhed and struggled to stay present. And, she didnt want to revert to the phony family role she was used to playing. It was time for new, authentic, honest way of being. And then, realization struck. She could be in it all, but not of it. She could be the witness of it all, watching herself as an objective observer who has no emotional attachment. Simply seeing with the clarity of someone who has no investment in the outcome. And then, she was able to see and let go. Liberation.

How many times have I myself spiraled down into the abyss of absorbtion of my own self-centered mess. Caught in the web of "them" and "it" and "anger" and "sadness". Learning how to see and feel, without getting tossed away. Being a part of it all without being separate or superior. Or inferior.
Being the witness of our own lives. Allowing everyone to just be.

That is the gift we can give to ourselves when we become the witness of our own lives.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

equanimity is enlightenment

I learned an important lesson today. I experimented with the concept, and I noticed it worked.
It is about creating equanimity. I suspect it is different for each of us. We all have different needs to feed us, though I imagine there must be some universal qualities to those needs. This assuming, of course, that our most basic needs are met.

I learned that when I slow down and take care of the most essential things that create and contribute to my well-being, I find equanimity. I can create equanimity. When I take time to really focus on brushing my teeth, wash my face, or comb my hair, find that I feel differently. If I don't rush these things, I feel more relaxed, more centered, more even keeled about how I am starting my day. If I can carry that slower pace through the day, I find I make decisions better, more mindfully.
For me, it usually starts with some inspirational reading. I rarely wake up feeling so centered that I can single-handedly accomplish this on my own. I have to rely on my teachers. Today, it is Thich Nhat Hanh. I am reading The Art of Power. Thuy, as he is called by his beloved students, has an amazing way of saying so simply profound teachings. His words exude compassion with every lesson. This is not another "to do", but a way "to be". The greatest gift we can give ourselves is allowing ourselves just time "to be.".

When we allow this, the door is cracked open for enlightenment to enter. Welcome the guest and invite her to stay for dinner. Maybe for life.




copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

the comforts of home

there is nothing more I love to do than sit at the table with those I love.



copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

start this day to create a better world

Start this day to create a better world around you by all that you do, say and think and really enjoy it all to the full. Life is there to be enjoyed and every day should be full to overflowing with all the good things in life. Expect the best and accept only the best. You have been told this many times, and yet many of you are still content to accept second best either because you feel you are unworthy to receive the best or you are just too lazy to raise your consciousness until you visualise the very best and then hold the very best in your consciousness until it manifests in form. This is where you have to put into practice that lesson of patience, persistence and perseverance and see it work out.

- Eileen Caddy


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

back to basics

The beauty of these times is that is an opportunity to get back to the basics.
Not the bare bones back to basics that feels like we are lacking, but the kind that reminds us what really matters in our lives. The simple things that enhance our lives everyday. The beauty that arrests us aesthetically and makes us wonder in awe.

In a world where everything is moving and changing at the speed of light, how do we re-define what the basics are? If you are over 50, you can probably define "back to basics" by many benchmarks. My mom & dad didn't even have a refrigerator {as we know it} growing up. Today, there are too many choices to count, with basic being defined very differently in the 21st century.

For me, Back to Basics is about living simply. Removing the clutter and uncovering those things that are essential to my well-being - so I can go out into the world and be the person I aspire to be: calm, confident and compassionate.

I don't always succeed {hardly}, but with daily practice, I get a step closer to becoming that person, being that way.


Writing morning pages
10 minute morning meditation
Eating dinner at the table with my family
Sundays at home with a big morning breakfast and the NY Times newspaper sprawled about the living room floor
Taking a bath in the morning or at night, or both, to calm my nerves and soothe my soul
Grocery shopping at the local farmer's market on Saturday for the week's perishable pantry
Sparkling water in the refrigerator

These are simple things for me. You may look at this list and nod your head in agreement or turn your head in quizzical questioning. It doesn't matter what you think. That's the point. These are things that are meaningful to me. And you should find that things that matter to you. No matter if others agree, or not. Remember, this is your one precious life. Do not squander it on perceptions and praise. Mind your own business and live your life the best it can be. You can be that.




copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

the key to life

Stay in the present moment.

seems so simple. living it is so hard.
when we focus on what is in front of us, we put our heart and energy into that. Everything else, for the moment, falls away.
I used to live my life "overthere"- the next thought, the next "to do", the future "ta da". It lacked depth, it didn't linger with meaning.

When I lived in San Francisco, I visited a Buddhist therapist . I didn't know it at the time and wasn't even that familiar with Buddhism, but I do remember what she said the first time we sat together in her office and meditated.

"present moment, only moment".

I might not have felt it deep down at the time, but just saying it was more comforting than failing about without any guidance or guardrail. To this day, this mantra continues to be a source of comfort and calm.

Being in the present moment forces us, in a good way, to slow down. It can feel unsettling if we haven't had the practice. But, I promise you, once you have had a taste of it, you never want to go back down the old path. Even more encouraging, living in the present moment becomes a part of your life, like a new habit. That is not to say we might backpedal a bit every now and then, but those times become fewer and fewer. and then, it simply becomes a part of who we are.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

turning passion into soulful work

Your art is the Holy Ghost blowing through your soul.
- Jack Kerouac


For many of us, our work is our art. For me, it is a vehicle through which I can realize my passion, express my creativity and surround myself with beauty. I am a smart enough to know that when I surrender to the process, the greatest gifts come through. It is as if I too am merely a vehicle through which all of this is realized. An instrument, a tool.
When I show up to be that, it is a very different experience than when I barrel in with great guns, ego at the ready to accomplish, achieve and acquire. It just feels different.


Yes, I must have the discipline to show up. That is my duty.After that, I try to be inspired by the spirit itself that I might inspire others. It is not easy and I am not always successful at this endeavor. My ego is strong and willful character that loves to act out its part. But with the spirit, my work becomes a holy thing.
That is how I want to live.


copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

the company we keep

Everything and everyone around is a reflection of ourselves. They are a mirror of our life, our perceptions, our desires, our fears.
We may be inspired or exhausted, lifted up or put down.
it is not about you- it is about the company you keep.

I choose to surround myself with advocates: adventurous, loving, bold, gentle, honest, inspiring.
Sacred circles, I call them. I invite the trusted in, or they invite me in an, together, we share our advocacy for each other.
Business, friendship, women, spiritual, relationship, family.

We can only become what we can imagine.
Time to create a dream circle of ideas and inspiration.

Where will you find your place? Who will you invite into your circle?
There is no time like the present to become who you were meant to be.

Make your moments meaningful. Be mindful of the company you keep.





copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

fostering the creative craving

1. I cannot wait for everything to be perfect to be creative.
2. I deserve to be the authentic self that I am.
3. I have a responsibility to be the authentic self that I am.
4. I am the authority of my life.
5. I will surround myself with beauty.
6. I will make time and take time to do the things that I love.


begin.




copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

getting tripped up

there is enlightenment, and then there is the just the light.
how do we know the difference? where do we find the glimpse of the moon that will guide us on our way?
we trek and we try....not always with surefooted certainty or the promise of a rainbow's end. And yet, we continue on the path.
Hoping, seeking, searching. What is our heart's desire? What is our truth? Mired in what we were taught and confused by the space between what we know and what we long for. What we hope for.
Somewhere in the middle lies our truth. My truth.

It is time to investigate. It is time to commit wholeheartedly to a way of life that is.....fill in the blanks. What are the blanks? Who are the blanks? This is where my inquiry begins. What do I wholeheartedly believe in? Am I committed to those beliefs? Do I have the discipline to act on those beliefs? Consistently, wholeheartedly, soulfully.

The darkness fades and clarity is the morning's reprieve. Our prayers are not always answered as we wish, but they will always offer us what we need. May my blessings be filled with love. For this I pray. May I be the love that I wish for in my own life. May I be generous with my words and thoughts and compassion and understanding.

Wish I were there, but I am not. And yet, the knowing is just the place to begin.
May I have many helping hands to offer me guidance along the way.
May I offer my own hands to those in need.
May I be the compassion that is needed to connect with others in this world.

I am lost, but now I am willing to be found. Please, find me and show me the way.

copyright 2009 Alisa Barry

opening of the heart

It is Sunday. Sacred Sunday. The fire in the studio is flaming as I sit down to honor the day.
I am in the midst of an amazing workshop called Heartbeat with Jonathon Horan, son of the creator of 5Rhythms, a movement meditation. This weekend, we are smoking the peace pipe with our emotions- embracing them as part of who we are and what we are becoming. Fear is my emotion- anxiety, paranoia, distrust. Yesterday, I danced it through my tears to reach the layer of sadness that lay just under the surface. Sadness grieving for those things I have left behind, those that will never be, and for the emptiness of not allowing all of me to live outloud. On the other side, I see a glimpse of emancipation. Liberation. Celebration. I feel the heart starting to crack open...and it is divine.

Here are Jonathon's words about Heartbeat:

My intention as a teacher, and in my own emotional evolution, is to practice staying present with feelings. So it is with great tenderness that I approach this journey into the heart, the part of us that beats and pumps and gives and receives and takes the old and transforms it into the new, purifying us, every minute of every day. Using the 5Rhythms as a map to how our emotional energy morphs and moves, we will explore our emotions as energy, as power, as part of being human.

The wilderness of our hearts scares us. We haven’t been taught to track our feelings, much less respect them. In fact, we often feel ashamed of them when they do pop up. Even in our own families we hold back, dismiss and deny true responses. Even in the dark of the movie theater we swallow our tears. This is very sad. We’ve lost our spontaneity. Why do we give fear so much power?

To befriend our emotions, to not be frozen by fear, is our destiny on this dancing path. Fear is the clearest meter of our edge, the edge where we feel comfortable and grounded. When we start to feel uncomfortable, it’s a challenge. A challenge is an invitation to move from who we are into who we are becoming. The bigger the fear, the more important it is for us to face it. It’s not just a stoplight, it’s a huge road sign: COME DANCE WITH ME.

Let’s take the time to stop the world and pay attention to our hearts. Our attention is like a spotlight. Feelings live in our body parts, and when we shine the light of our attention on specific body parts, memories crack open and move, dissolving the hard hold they have on us. Shapeshifting through feelings as they come up will open us up to their messages, their symbols and their signals.

One of the single-most powerful acts we can do is to share our vulnerability. The more we open up and dance through our feelings, the safer the environment becomes to explore our edges. These dances will be our offering to the bigger world. They will be our prayers for peace.

- Jonathon Horan





copyright 2009 Alisa Barry