holding on and letting go

you would think i could have let go by now.....of what?
of the things that don't matter, of the constraint that keeps me claustrophobic,
of the patterns that trip me up and keep me down.

it's already ten months into this year's experiment and the only thing i know for sure, is that i am still struggling with trying figure it out. and, that is exactly why. it is not to be figured out.

it is about knowing when to hold on and trusting when to let go.
seems so simple, still so hard.

i write down the lessons like a roadmap, as if i were the guru guiding myself on the path.
and yet, still wandering, trying to look and feel as if i have found my way. i haven't. but you knew that already. because perhaps you have already seen the path that i am on, or maybe you are right behind me on this path, following in my footsteps, or maybe you are the wise sage who has come and gone and gone beyond.
either way, we are all in this together. blind leading the blind through the darkness, enlightened lighting the way for others to illumination.

one more step forward is not the journey. it is exactly where we are standing right now. and, that is exactly where we are meant to be. for now. now, that's something to hold on to. for now.









copyright 2009 Alisa Barry